I WALKED AWAY

The greatest day of my life was the day I walked away from the AA cult. I had just finished several years in counselling (a real trained counsellor). I realised as I shared at my last meeting that I was deluded in my belief that AA saved my life. I shared, "AA has helped me 99%, but I must give 1% to my counsellor". It hit then. Reality hit me like a brick. All I was saying was what they wanted to hear. The fact is my counsellor helped me recover from my low self- esteem and self image. And there I was giving this crazy cult the credit. Also the credit for my sobriety goes to ME 100%. PERIOD.
AA has not helped me at all, not one bit. The fact that I remained sober in AA is a miracle.
I went home that day and turned on the computer. Oddly after nearly nine years in the cult I looked up Alcoholics Anonymous on answers.com I read the usual crap. At the end of the article was a link to www.orange-papers.org normally I wouldn't entertain any criticism of AA, but today was different. I opened up my mind. After a couple of hours reading I sat in my room thinking, 'wow, I KNEW it!' I knew deep down that something was wrong in AA. It didn't fit right. Surely if AA was good I would have fitted in by now. I would of course have fitted in by now if AA was good. But it isn't good. I always felt awkward in the cult. Yet recently I started more studying and fitted in immediately. There is little wrong with my mind; there is nothing at all wrong with my social skills; there is nothing wrong with my ability to make friends, to find a mate. I looked at this cult as a reflection of society, and thus imagined myself as being fucked up. I couldn't see that it was the cult that was fucked up, not me!