SHARING
Sharing is a word used by Steppers, and especially Alcoholics Anonymous, to confess, or indeed brag about your sins to the group. Now I have nothing against group therapy. It can be good to get things off one's chest. The problem as I see it is that in AA there is no trained counsellors. This means we could well be doing damage by our 'sharing'. There is also the problem of blabber mouths.
The most repulsive 'sharing' is bragging. One man bragged about how he put a barman in hospital: "I slammed my fist on top of his head, and his jaw caved in". He clearly delighted in telling us this. He went on to give us all the horrible details. I felt quite sick, as did many others there.
If one is going to meetings every day, how much will they confess? I have always suspected that many members make up stories or at least exaggerate them.
I shared many times what a bastard I was in the early days. The reason being is that I was playing the steoreotypical alcoholic. The fact is I don't fit that stereotype. I had ONE physical fight in my adult life, and felt guilty for years over it, exaggerated it, blew it all out of proportion.
It seems now to me that I was brainwashed into believing that I was a bad and violent person. That is so far from the truth. I have always been a gentle person, even when drinking, except for one time.
Sharing is also about conforming, especially for the more vulnerable people. We all want to be liked and loved; we all want to fit it. There is nothing wrong with conforming. After all we must conform to rules in work and to the rule of law. It sucks sometimes but that's life. But why should we conform to the group in AA? How are we to overcome our problems if we just say what we think others want us to hear?
I have known people in the cult to 'share' outright lies.
When one shares in AA there is no discussion or feed back. Often (almost always in my 9 years) the chairperson will talk again after somebody has shared, but rather strangly, he or she will simply resume their egotisical monologue, with not a word on the person who just 'shared'. This tells me that the chairperson was not even listen. He or she was merely waiting for you to finish, to resume their monologue.
INAPPROPRIATE LAUGHING.
"I stole some money, just a small amount, from my boss" I shared; everyone laughed. I said, "It's not funny" and they laughed even louder.
Afterwards a woman shared, "I learned to laugh in AA". That was clearly a kick at me. Trust me, I can laugh. I can laugh a lot. But I know when not to laugh. And perhaps I just don't share the same sence of humour as this particular group. There is something disturbing about a bunch of people laughing their heads off over nothing.
Incidently I returned the money, telling my then boss I had borrowed it. In retrospect borrow is exactly what I had done. (Hey, well... I needed some sins to fit in with the group!)
The most repulsive 'sharing' is bragging. One man bragged about how he put a barman in hospital: "I slammed my fist on top of his head, and his jaw caved in". He clearly delighted in telling us this. He went on to give us all the horrible details. I felt quite sick, as did many others there.
If one is going to meetings every day, how much will they confess? I have always suspected that many members make up stories or at least exaggerate them.
I shared many times what a bastard I was in the early days. The reason being is that I was playing the steoreotypical alcoholic. The fact is I don't fit that stereotype. I had ONE physical fight in my adult life, and felt guilty for years over it, exaggerated it, blew it all out of proportion.
It seems now to me that I was brainwashed into believing that I was a bad and violent person. That is so far from the truth. I have always been a gentle person, even when drinking, except for one time.
Sharing is also about conforming, especially for the more vulnerable people. We all want to be liked and loved; we all want to fit it. There is nothing wrong with conforming. After all we must conform to rules in work and to the rule of law. It sucks sometimes but that's life. But why should we conform to the group in AA? How are we to overcome our problems if we just say what we think others want us to hear?
I have known people in the cult to 'share' outright lies.
When one shares in AA there is no discussion or feed back. Often (almost always in my 9 years) the chairperson will talk again after somebody has shared, but rather strangly, he or she will simply resume their egotisical monologue, with not a word on the person who just 'shared'. This tells me that the chairperson was not even listen. He or she was merely waiting for you to finish, to resume their monologue.
INAPPROPRIATE LAUGHING.
"I stole some money, just a small amount, from my boss" I shared; everyone laughed. I said, "It's not funny" and they laughed even louder.
Afterwards a woman shared, "I learned to laugh in AA". That was clearly a kick at me. Trust me, I can laugh. I can laugh a lot. But I know when not to laugh. And perhaps I just don't share the same sence of humour as this particular group. There is something disturbing about a bunch of people laughing their heads off over nothing.
Incidently I returned the money, telling my then boss I had borrowed it. In retrospect borrow is exactly what I had done. (Hey, well... I needed some sins to fit in with the group!)
posted by Mairtin at
4:47 AM
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