MY STEPS FOR ESCAPING ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

1 We admitted we were powerful, that we could manage our own lives

2 Took responsibility for ourselves

3 Made a decision to take our own will back and to think for ourselves

4 Made an inventory of our good and bad points

5 Reflected deeply on these points

6 Were ready to grow up

7 Got of our knees!

8 Thought about those we had harmed and those who harmed us, and how it has shaped our lives...

9 ... then moved on and forgot about it

10 Continued to grow and love ourselves

11 Understand that if God exists He gave us a brain and a will for a reason, and that the idea of turning our will over to him/her/it was illogical and irresponsible

12 Having deprogrammed our minds of superstitous nonsense we played our part in destroying Alcoholics Anonymous.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Write a blog of your experience.

Write to mental health experts. Most will perhaps ignore you but you must try. I have written to FOUR. ALL ignored me and refused to debate the issue. I will keep trying with others. Remember AA DOES NOT WORK. That is proven! Dr. Vaillant found, over an 8 year period that AA was no better down 5%, which is the rate of spontaneous remmision among alcoholics. He found the death rate among members "appalling". Vaillant is a leader in AA but had to come clean because his research was state funded. There has only been FOUR good tests on AA and they all show AA to be a failure. There are 100 tests that show AA works! Bullshit! These tests had NO CONTROL GROUP. They are a fraud and a lie! see the www.orange-papers.org

Write to politicians

Tell as many people as possible about your experience. I have, and I have convinced three people to leave the cult. These people were deeply unhappy. I am very unpopular among AA members in my local area but nuts to it. But be careful. Remember you're dealing with religious fanatics.

Whatever you do, play your part, however small it may seem. You may actually save a human being's life. The Anti-AA community is growing.

Bizarre Rant

Check out this rant from a Alcoholics Anonymous member http://orange-papers.org/orange-letters40.heml Scroll down to this letter from 'bermanisfat'. Note how he, or indeed any cult members letters, fails to provide any evidence that the Steps works. Another curious thing cult members often say, or words to the effect are, "Sure you'll write a big long reply back". This tells me they are actually aware that they will get an intelligent reply. This sick individual accuses Orange of having an angry red face when that is exactly how I imagined the author of the letter. This must surely be a classical case of projection (as defined in psychology). He also makes bizarre assumptions about Orange. He says he will write again as if it is a threat. Well he's already made a fool of himself. All he did was attack Orange. He even had to make up some kind of fantasy about Orange's life and they way he lives in order to attack him. This is truely the strangest letter (but there are others by cult members). Ladys and gentle men! I present for you today.... a 12 Step true believer!

UPDATE. I just checked the above link. It doesn't go to the letter. Use the link then go to 'home', scroll down to letters number 40, then scroll down until you get to a letter by 'bermanisfat' (Berman is probably angry as well as fat... maybe that's why he's angry!) Anyway that's the fruit cake.

SHARING

Sharing is a word used by Steppers, and especially Alcoholics Anonymous, to confess, or indeed brag about your sins to the group. Now I have nothing against group therapy. It can be good to get things off one's chest. The problem as I see it is that in AA there is no trained counsellors. This means we could well be doing damage by our 'sharing'. There is also the problem of blabber mouths.
The most repulsive 'sharing' is bragging. One man bragged about how he put a barman in hospital: "I slammed my fist on top of his head, and his jaw caved in". He clearly delighted in telling us this. He went on to give us all the horrible details. I felt quite sick, as did many others there.
If one is going to meetings every day, how much will they confess? I have always suspected that many members make up stories or at least exaggerate them.
I shared many times what a bastard I was in the early days. The reason being is that I was playing the steoreotypical alcoholic. The fact is I don't fit that stereotype. I had ONE physical fight in my adult life, and felt guilty for years over it, exaggerated it, blew it all out of proportion.
It seems now to me that I was brainwashed into believing that I was a bad and violent person. That is so far from the truth. I have always been a gentle person, even when drinking, except for one time.
Sharing is also about conforming, especially for the more vulnerable people. We all want to be liked and loved; we all want to fit it. There is nothing wrong with conforming. After all we must conform to rules in work and to the rule of law. It sucks sometimes but that's life. But why should we conform to the group in AA? How are we to overcome our problems if we just say what we think others want us to hear?
I have known people in the cult to 'share' outright lies.
When one shares in AA there is no discussion or feed back. Often (almost always in my 9 years) the chairperson will talk again after somebody has shared, but rather strangly, he or she will simply resume their egotisical monologue, with not a word on the person who just 'shared'. This tells me that the chairperson was not even listen. He or she was merely waiting for you to finish, to resume their monologue.

INAPPROPRIATE LAUGHING.
"I stole some money, just a small amount, from my boss" I shared; everyone laughed. I said, "It's not funny" and they laughed even louder.
Afterwards a woman shared, "I learned to laugh in AA". That was clearly a kick at me. Trust me, I can laugh. I can laugh a lot. But I know when not to laugh. And perhaps I just don't share the same sence of humour as this particular group. There is something disturbing about a bunch of people laughing their heads off over nothing.
Incidently I returned the money, telling my then boss I had borrowed it. In retrospect borrow is exactly what I had done. (Hey, well... I needed some sins to fit in with the group!)

just thoughts

"I am very nervous here. This is my first chair. My sponsor's told me it's my big ego that makes me nervous in a room full of people, (everybody nods agreement) I'm sorry I can't do this. It's just me being selfish" -
That's what a young man said opening up a meeting. His sponsor told him something, therefore it is true. Actually he was probably nervous because he'd never spoken to a room full of people. Perhaps he feared he would not impress. Perhaps he feared ridicule, confessing his sins. It may have had someting to do with his ego but it certainly wasn't because it was big. And it absolutely had nothing to do with selfishness! And the bottom line is he did not want to do it!
New members are made to feel guilty for not doing chairs. The true -believers (Always middle aged, arrogant men, always White) say things like "who are you to say no?" "You forget where you came from". They have no empathy or understanding.
These days I have no time for these bastards. Sure there are plenty of good members, good people, that I talk to, but the leaders, the true believers, I walk right by without a word. Where are there qualifications? Well they have none. Yet they feel fit to tell a newcomer not to take there medication; they feel it's right to push a member to do things he or she doesn't want to do. Their ignorance and stupidity is quite shocking and chills me to the bone.
Often people are told to ring their sponsor every day. How degrading is that? This is perhaps a way that members lose their identities. All of their decisions are often made by the sponsor. So their needs are never met. 'Don't make major decisions for a least two years' is a common bit of advice. (Actually they call it a suggestion, AAs love semantics!). What muck! No. I think I'll make my own decisions thank you very much!
I am so, so glad to get away from the AA cult. Really I thought I would be going to meetings for the rest of my life. Now I know I will NEVER go to an AA cult meeting again. Woo hoo! happy days!

For a comprehensive analysis of the cult visit Agent Orange at www.orange-papers.org

INSANITY

"My sponsor told me that when I keep doing the same thing and keep getting the same negative results, it is a form of insanity. I listened carely. I left Alcoholics Anonymous."
- Anon

DEATH

I was brainwashed in AA, there is no doubt in my mind about now. For years I struggled in the cult but never quite got 100% taken in. However to a large extent I was taken in by the lies. I'm not hard on myself, after all I was in a very bad way back then.
They say in AA that nothing happens by mistake, that God is in control. I guess by that logic one can only come to the conclusion that God is evil. What else can one call a power that allows people to be tortured to death, war, famine. And so AA does nothing to contribute to society, since they believe God is doing His will all of the time. The true believers sit around self righteously proclaiming that God has chosen them. They make me sick. This whole 'Recovery' business makes me sick. They hurt and kill.
One young man who kept coming into the meetings but couldn't get sober killed himself, after walking out of I meeting I had chaired. The message he was getting was that AA was the only way... or death. Well he chose death; we killed him by our ignorance. He could have been saved had he seen a professional counsellor or a doctor. He could have been prescribed medication to help him cope. Nobody suggested professional help, just "go to meetings" "read the Big Book" "get a sponser".
I think the saddest case was of Bobby (not real name). Bobby had been going to meetings for years. He was always in pain. He needed real medical help but was told he didn't need meds. He threw himself in the harbour. He left behind a wife and two young children.
Few care when a member dies. You would be shocked to see how cold they are, how indifferent they are.
AA must be exposed and destroyed.

WE DON'T NEED A GOD IN AA... REALLY?

The Big Book has got to be the most disgusting piece of religious literature ever written. The lack of respect for humans and human nature is mind boggling. It blows my mind as to how a mental health professional can actually take it seriously. Check this out in chapter 4 'we agnostics':

"To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face."
In other words Join our cult or die. Bill Wilson is telling us that if we don't join his twisted religion we will die, doomed, death.

and this:

"...something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted."
That is so arrogant and patronizing. Actually Bill I don't feel disconcerted since leaving your cult! So I only think I'm an atheist? But really I am superior like you?

and this:

"Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed us utterly."
Our human resources are all we have! Perhaps His Holiness wants them marshalled by the Cult! Remember Bill did say we could turn our will and our lives over to a Group Of Drunks (G.O.D.)

and this p 53

"...Either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is , or He isn't. What was our choice to be?" (Wow!! such logic!)
This is crazy!!!! A few pages ago I didn't have to believe in God! Now Bill Wilson gives us a choice.... Ok Bill, He isn't... so what do I do now?
"Without knowing it, had we not been brought to where we stood by a certain kind of faith?"
Yes we had, faith in our fellow humans, and many of us were betrayed and dead.
He tells us then that we had been faithful to a "God of Reason". Really Bill tries so hard to drill God into our heads, doesn't he? Nope wrong Bill. Why do you keep mentioning God? Isn't this the chapter to the agnostics?
"We found, too, that we had been worshippers." Worshippers? See how Bill keeps using words associated with religion? So what if we were worshippers! What the fuck is he talking about here? We had been worshippers, so what the hell let's worship Bill's God!
"Imagine life without faith" Bill says, trying to excite us. Perhaps he'll whip us into an insane religious frenzy!!
" He [God] was as much a fact as we were." Now God is a fact! Bill must have been out of his fucking mind altogether. One page we don't need a god, the next He's a fact! He is so arrogant and deluded here that he believes at this point of his stupid argument we will all come to believe in his idea of god. This has got to be the weakest argument ever for the existence of God.

WHAT ARE THE STEPS ABOUT?

What are the steps about? Alcohol? No or.. yes? Drug addiction.. eh yes.. i mean no? OK Lets broaden it: Addiction Oh YES.. wait that doesn't make sense. What about if I am diabetic? Yes! Wait that doesn't makes sense either because diabetes we don't force on ourselves, alcohol we do. But hang on now, what about rape? It's for that too. So what are the steps about? Addiction? Medical disorders? Violent crime victims? They are about indoctrination into a crazy pessimistic, death obsessed cult! ( check out www.orange-papers.com the twelve biggest lies )
How can a treatment for alcoholism be applicable also to a rape victim? How does that make sense? There are over 100 (Orange twelve biggest lies) Stepper meetings and it is impossible to find a common factor.... Wait I found one CULT INDOCTRINATION!

A HAVEN FOR BULLIES AND COWARDS

When I talk of cowards and bullies (bullies are of course cowards) in AA I mean of course the true believers: Those fruit cakes who believe everything that Bill Wilson said.
I have been to a lot of meetings and seen a lot of spineless bullies. They hate mature discussions and use the meetings to slyly attack other members, knowing full well that arguments are not tolerated. I remember talking to a so-called atheist about the program. I asked how it was that she could do the program and still be an atheist, since a god was required. As the discussion went on she became embarrassed. So I left it at that, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. When the meeting started she was chosen to be chairperson. Confidently she opened the meeting and said, "some people look too deep into the program. Well I do it my way!" And she glared at me. She suddenly found courage in the safety of the meeting.
The bullies like to put the so-called weaker members down by talking out of the side of their necks. They detest logic; they detest questions. If one tries to debate with them, they say something like, "well I wish you well". Beneath such a statement there is rage.
And if you point out a flaw in the program you are "looking too deep into it". We should just believe. What a load of utter bull shit!
Bullies will often say 'I' when they mean you! One guy was sharing that he was giving up smoking. I shared next and when I'd finished the chair person said to me, "I gave up smoking but it has nothing to do with the program". I never even mentioned smoking, so I said, "shoudn't you be addressing that other guy". Well he didn't; he just ignored me and went on to the next person. What a coward.
I was severly bullied in my early days. In my last days the bullies avoided me like the plague! I no longer feared them. They feared me. I could see it in their closed body language, their reluctance to share and often they would get up and leave. Not such tough guys now are they?

MOVEMENT

"Twelve step bowel movement"
Description of the 12 steps by one of its victims in a letter to Orange, 2004. Oh God it so good to fall around laughing! Nice One!

SLOGANS

When you walk into an AA meeting, or any 12 step meeting, you will usually see a lot of simple, stupid slogans around the room. These are designed to stop your thoughts. They are designed to stop criticism of the program. Criticism is forbidden. Let's have a look at some of the slogans I have seen at meetings:

Utilize, don't analyze
So you're not to analyze the program. Normal humans test things out. We do it all the time in our relationships, in learning, in creating. We test and analyze, and if something doesn't work we modify and change, sometimes ourselves, sometimes, where possible our environment. It is the mature behaviour of an adult. Even a child does it! It is called growth. Of course if you analyze AA you will probably run like hell!

Let go, let God
Let go what? Your thoughts? Let God what? Take over your life so that you don't have to be responsible?

Stop your stinking thinking
Stop thinking, you stupid idiot!

This too shall pass
Again what? What will pass?

Live and let live
This is often used in the context of allowing another person to treat you like shit. You're suppose to put up with it. If someone hurts you its YOUR problem. Even in ACoA they say it's your problem if your parents knocked the crap out of you when you were an innocent little child.
I remember when my sponser hurt me. I shared the story at a meeting. At the end of the meeting a man came over to me and stood so close I could smell his stinking breath. He said rapidly, "You're the problem! You're the problem! You've got to believe that! You're the problem!" What an insensitive, cold and foolish man.

One day at a time
This may seem ok. But what they mean in AA is to live your life one day at a time. Make no plans for your future.

These sogans just keep you stupid and quiet. It is as if you cannot think for yourself. I find them patronizing in the extreme. No thanks! I think I'll use my mind for thinking and working out my problems. That's what it's for.

PERSONALITY CHANGES

AA claims to be a quit drinking program. The fact is they demand a complete personality change in their members. I remember seeing a friend of mine coming to the meetings. This guy was a staunch athiest. One month in the fellowship he was talking about Jesus, and how He changed his life, his whole personality. It was really bizarre. As far as I'm aware Jesus didn't want us to change our whole personality. And I'm sure He didn't want us to sit around judging everybody; He didn't want us to waste our days and not contribute for the good of society. AA is a closed, egotistical and selfish system. Many members even proudly say, "It's a selfish program." Touche!
The cult must first break you down to build you into a good cult drone. In a story in the BB, (p420, 3rd ed) a cult member tells us, "I have had to be torn down and then put back together differently."
Trust me your personality is not completely changed. But what does happen is that your mind stops thinking. You go in a strange surreal state. Sometimes, every now and then, you use logic and express it at meetings. But it's quickly beating back by the bullies. What eventual happened to me was that I became unafraid of threats of AA or death and left. Now my thinking is clear and healthy, happy and sad, not maniacal and depressed.

My take on BB p60, 3rd ed.

Many of us exclaimed, "what a load of crap! Are you outa your fucking mind!?" Do not panick. No one among us has a brain to think with. We are not normal. The point is that we were willing to forget about logic and common sense. The practices we have ordered will make you feel good (duuuuh). We claim not to be a religion but we are.
Our negative, stereotypical view of the alcoholic, our chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after is all the proof we need, Ok? We represent all truth . So don't give us any science.
You are useless
You can't do anything
God can (We are not religion, we are not a religion) save you (not a religion).
Being brainwash drones, we were at step 3, which is that we became lazy bums who found even thinking too tiring, and sat around waiting for God to do everything for us.

I WALKED AWAY

The greatest day of my life was the day I walked away from the AA cult. I had just finished several years in counselling (a real trained counsellor). I realised as I shared at my last meeting that I was deluded in my belief that AA saved my life. I shared, "AA has helped me 99%, but I must give 1% to my counsellor". It hit then. Reality hit me like a brick. All I was saying was what they wanted to hear. The fact is my counsellor helped me recover from my low self- esteem and self image. And there I was giving this crazy cult the credit. Also the credit for my sobriety goes to ME 100%. PERIOD.
AA has not helped me at all, not one bit. The fact that I remained sober in AA is a miracle.
I went home that day and turned on the computer. Oddly after nearly nine years in the cult I looked up Alcoholics Anonymous on answers.com I read the usual crap. At the end of the article was a link to www.orange-papers.org normally I wouldn't entertain any criticism of AA, but today was different. I opened up my mind. After a couple of hours reading I sat in my room thinking, 'wow, I KNEW it!' I knew deep down that something was wrong in AA. It didn't fit right. Surely if AA was good I would have fitted in by now. I would of course have fitted in by now if AA was good. But it isn't good. I always felt awkward in the cult. Yet recently I started more studying and fitted in immediately. There is little wrong with my mind; there is nothing at all wrong with my social skills; there is nothing wrong with my ability to make friends, to find a mate. I looked at this cult as a reflection of society, and thus imagined myself as being fucked up. I couldn't see that it was the cult that was fucked up, not me!

WELCOME

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog. The is a continuation of mairtin.livejournal.com Please go there for previous posts.
My purpose here to expose Alcoholism Anonymous for what it is, a cult that kills people through brainwashing, death suggestions, and the teachings that alcoholics are not responsible for their actions. Unfortunately I will not be allowing comments because of hate mail by cult members. I will not allow myself to be viciously attacked by those comments.
I will also be supporting Agent Orange www.orange-papers.org in his tireless efforts to get the truth out and will cite his writings many times. Thank you!