Atheism

I am an atheist 100%, but I see nothing wrong with people who believe in a god. After all I work with many people who have a strong belief. Now in Alcoholics Anonymous they say anyone, even an atheist can benefit by doing the 12 steps. Actually it is impossible do do the steps if one is an atheist. The steps mention God... wait a minute... isn't an atheist a person who does not believe in God?
The whole point of AA is that God does the work for you. You get no credit at all. Human will, according to them, is useless! The cult says, "...that God could and would if He were sought". ie God would relieve your alcoholism. So how can an atheist believe that "God could and would" relieve their alcoholism?
There are no true atheists that believe in the AA program. None. They need to look up a dictionary! It is impossible and makes no sense at all. It is like saying, " I am a Catholic and an atheist."
I must stress here that I have no problem with religion at all. Actually I have less a problem than AA. They hate all religions except their own, which they say is not a religion! They bad mouth other religions even though the Catholic Church and Church of Ireland freely supply them with rooms to conduct their wierd, disturbing rituals!

ORANGE PAPERS

FOR A COMPREHENSIVE ANALYSIS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS SEE WWW.ORANGE-PAPERS.ORG

POWER

I'm still here. I'm still sober. I'm not dead. So STILL AA's doom prophecy has not come true!
Now recently I have been unlucky to bump into a true believer who has been trying his best to get me back in to the AA Cult. One time I met him I was feeling very sad. He suggested a meeting. When told him I was no longer a member he laughed. Even though I was clearly destressed he laughed! He asked me to go for a coffee. I said, "I'm not in the mood mate." He laughs again. Then I walked away after saying, "Look bud, I'm not in the fucking mood for laughing right now!"
Last week I met him again. He asks me how my day was. Just as I would say to anyone I tell him I had a boring day in college, that the tutor was a bore. He reponds, " Powerless over people, places and things" I point at my feet and say, "Watch this power" and walk away. And that is my power!
Incidently this guys talks in slogans and rarely says anything original. Typical true-believer.

Brain damaged

I have met a lot of Alcoholics Anonymous members since leaving the cult. Now the true believers really chill me to the bone. The further I get away, the more deprogrammed my mind becomes (though it's probably completely deprogrammed now) the more strange and wierd the true believers seem. they are like robots. When you talk to them their body language is way out of sinc with what they're saying. It is as if their brains were being damaged as they speak from steppism....
There is a glaringly false spirituality about them. Their egos (Far from being destoyed as the program claims, which is as bad as a big ego!) are HUGE!! They look at themselves as chose by God. At meetings they say patronizing things like: "Oh I feel so sorry for those without our disease (sic they call themselves diseased); they can never know the joy I feel" Ah sure they can, just light up joint, or try some heroin or coke. They make you feel happy and joyful too and they kill too just like your insane cult...

GETTING NORMAL

Is it a co-incidence that since leaving the cult that my life has gotten better? Somehow I doubt it! I have entered a new world full of people, not Bill Wilson drones. It really is good. People. I am getting to know people from a clear mind, not a self righteous cult mind.
I am getting to know women! I feel like a 13 year boy in that regard! And I don't get foolishly attached to every woman I find attractive. You know what? Life is getting good. Everything is going to be ok. This is call socialisation...

BELIEVE

I remember reading a piece of Alcoholics Anonymous literature

which said, "Even when you don't believe, look to the light and believe". Now this really is disturbing to me and completely illogical. It is telling me not to listen to my mind; it is actually telling me to reverse my beliefs because they are wrong beliefs; it is saying believe what we believe, your mind is wrong. It think had I followed "the dictates of a Higher Power" my brain would have been mush by now.

Think for yourself is my believe. And you! Believe what I say, even if you don't believe! He he!!

CORRECTION

I just had a look at my old blog, mairtin.livejournal.com . I stated, in another correction, that Vaillant of AA Service, inc, found that of 100 members studied 29 were dead within a year. This was in fact over an 8 year period (Still shocking). He found that 5 were sober, 29 dead and the rest drunk. So much for the great success of AA. When you take into account the rate of spontaneous remmision ( 5%) among alcoholics that represents a 0% 'success' for AA. And frankly I would say it was worse, as it appears to me that AA causes death with its constant threats of Die or AA, leading vulnerable people to believe that these are their only options. The fact some (3%) choose death speaks volumns for me about this evil bastard cult called Alcoholics Anonymous!

I'M NOT DEAD OR DRUNK

The AA fruit cakes often, almost always, say that without AA we alcoholics will die without AA meetings. Well I'm not dead or drunk after 8 months without AA. I don't have to be an AA slave, spreading their lies and recruiting some poor bastards. I don't have to be a robot, without an original word, parroting the vomit of some self righteous old fucks who think 'God' chose them. Hey I can also be a little angry too, which is fun. In fact I can feel any way I choose. And tonight I will, as always, sleep soundly... Ah freedom is joy! Freedom from AA; freedom from irrational, nonsensical beliefs.

thoughts

It really is extraordinary the level of sarcasm and put downs in Alcoholics Anonymous.
When a cult drone asked me recently if I was still getting meetings I answered that I wasn't, and that I was no longer a member of AA. I told him that I was finding peace now. His response was, "Sure you're too well for AA." Of course he was being sarcastic but I decided to give a simply, genuine answer: "Yes. That's correct, thankyou, I hope you get out soon too". He said, "I pity you", I laughed, rather like you would when a child says someting cute and innocent. This conversation really reminds me of how much more confident I have become. In AA they tell you not to get angry, yet ironically they're the angriest people I've met to date. Angry people don't frighten me like they used to. This guy found out the hard way. His body language said: 'you beat me. I am humiliated'. Well he humiliated himself. No longer will I suppress who I am for fear of humiliating some weak bully. No longer will the embarrassement of others affect me, except when I choose.
I take responsibility for how I feel; I am not responsible for others feelings. Woo hoo what a burden lifted!!!

SINCE LEAVING THE CULT

There has been a lot of changes in my life since leaving AA. Now I can't say that all of these changes were caused by leaving AA. I cannot always prove this link or if there is a link.
I now communicate far better with people. When in the cult I imagine been different, somehow excluded for 'normies' (AA lingo for non-members). There is no doubt that my childhood contributed to my lack of communication and loneliness, but I feel AA perpetuated this with the constant message: "we're not normal" "Our brains are different". Deep down I always spoke to people with the thought (automatic thought that becomes habit and perhap unconscious), 'Are the AA or not?' And I believed most did not understand me, only AAs understand me. Of course this is nonsense.
I am also more open and a little more trusting. While in the cult I had this secret (being a member) that made me very careful about talking to people, especially relating to booze. Although now I don't blab about AA I couldn't care less if I told someone, so I need not be careful.
One change that certainly is connected to leaving AA is that I don't have the anxiety I used to have about missing meetings. That's gone! And it is a huge relief! It's like giving up smokes: You wake up after a couple of weeks off of the weed and think, 'I need a smoke... wait no I don't! I don't even feel like smoking!' And you then relax.

just some thoughts

I've met a lot of members since leaving the AA cult and openly told them that I have left. You know what is so interesting? None of them asked me if I was drinking! Isn't AA a quit drinking program? (of course not). One member said to me: "Well I am mature enough to wish you well". Imagine going to another self help group; lets say for marriage break ups. I go for a few years, feel very well, then leave and find I now feel strong and happy and free; I meet a person still a member, and he or she says, "well I am mature enough to wish you well". Is there any reason in the world for him or her to not wish me well?
It is meeting people like this guy (who's actually a nice guy), who come out with such statements, that convince me that AA is a cult. They are not interested in people who quit drinking unless they are a member of their organisation. It does not matter if one is sober or not. What matters is that people attend their cult meetings. Their are several members who will not speak to me or greet me at all. Yet when I was a member they talked to me. So you see many don't give a shit about their fellow alcoholics at all. I must state however that there are nice people in AA, and they are still nice to me. They are the people who don't swallow all the bullshit of Bill Wilson. Nevertheless they do not change the philosophy or dynamics of AA group meetings. They do though play their part. They try to change AA with-in. I try, in a very small way, to change AA with-out. I owe it to my dead friends...

CONFESSING

Confessing 'sins' or revealing ones private life to the group is a huge part of Alcoholics Anonymous. This caused me great distress and anxiety. I remember often thinking, 'how will I tell the group this' or 'I have to tell the group this'. I found this very unhealthy and a total waste of my brain power.
Now it is sometimes not good to keep things bottled up, but isn't it best to talk to a non-judgemental friend than to a group of self-righteous people, who believe that God chose them?
Often at very large meetings many of the people will be strangers to each other. Is it wise to confide your darkest secrets to strangers? I think not.

SELF-ESTEEM DESTROYED
The saddest thing for me was to see young people come in, influenced by their sponsors, talk about how horrible the are, and how bad they are, and how useless they are without AA.
"AA saved me"
"I'd be dead without AA"
"AA comes first for me"
"I am nothing without AA"
"I was a horrible person without AA"
I believe these statements come about because of a desire to fit in. It is conforming to the cult. But in time it becomes a belief, and they really do, then, believe that they are bags of useless shit. Well let me tell you something, I am no bag of shit. I give the credit for my recovery first to me and my courage and grit; and secondly I give credit to my last counsellor for guiding me and allowing me to express myself. AA gets NOTHING. ZERO! AA hindered my recovery with its idiotic, anti-intellectual, superstitious bull shit! Hehe!!
One thing I have noticed, to my great joy, since leaving the cult is how well I can relate to people. And when things fail, when I don't get what I want, the disappointment passes quickly. Why? Because I no longer need go to a meeting to regurgitate pain which has already been resolved. If you feel sick and throw up, you feel better, in AA you eat your own vomit again and again and again and again. It is totally unnecessary.

The Power Of Belief

My first realisation that Alcoholics Anonymous was harmful came about through meditation However it was quite a while before I left the cult. There were many realisations to came.
I was thinking about belief, and the power it has over our behaviour. Now I believe that many fears, indeed for me, most fears are irrational.
In AA there is an almost universal belief that cutting back on meetings will lead to a relapse or death. Now it seems for those who have this belief it comes true. It is not uncommon to hear, "I haven't had a meeting in a week, and feel aweful" I'm not getting enough meetings" We all have problems; we all suffer. But in AA they often believe this suffering comes about by not getting enough meetings. They may suffer because they believe this or, equally as bad, they may ignore real problems in life and suppress these problems in the false belief that the cause of the problem is a lack of meetings. Thus more meetings, more of life's ordinary problems suppressed, more fear of missing meetings, more anxiety brought about by suppression, and of course more anger. And then more meetings in the belief that meetings reduce suffering!!
Of course there are members, plenty, with no such belief, but as always it is the more vulnerable and desperate who relaps and die BECAUSE OF AA. It is no wonder a group of psychologist found a high rate of mental illness among members!

Self-love

I read quite a while back a leaflet which was distributed by the Alcoholics Anonymous Services. It wrote of the differences between a sponsor and a counsellor. Of course the sponsor with no training whatsoever in mental health care, comes out on top. I can't remember all of it but I will find it and reproduce here. One thing that stood out was: " The difference between a sponsor and a counsellor is that a counsellor tells you to love yourself and a sponsor tells you to love others"
Utter shite!
This rather slyly implies that a counsellor tells you to love only yourself. Rubbish. Not true. What is wrong with loving yourself and others? Isn't it logical to love yourself first? And if you don't love yourself, what then? Do you think maybe you're just ok? Bearable? Is this vacuum filled with self hatred? Like the self loathing Bill Wilson, who projected that hatred onto alcoholics.
If you don't love yourself nobody else will love you. If you don't respect yourself nobody will either.
I for example was a self loathing person as an AA member, although this improved even in the cult, despite the cult. Now about seven months on I dress better, having more confidence and I know I'm a nice person. I take care of myself because I love myself, but not just myself.
I know longer have to go to cult meetings saying what a shit I am. I can now be proud of who I am, and proud I certainly am. I've got grit and guts aplently! Now I could not say that at an Alcoholics Anonymous cult meeting. There I must give all my hard work and credit to the cult and admit that I've done nothing to deserve it. Yes indeed a lack of self love is an official part of Alcoholics Anonymous! This is perhaps another reason for the seeding, boiling rage beneath the false 'spiritual' face of the indoctrinated AA cult member...
Another one that comes to mined:
A counsellor tells you to love your inner child, a sponsors says he needs a good spanking"
That is so appalling, even for the ignorant AA leadership. Yet again more self hatred. Another example of suppression in AA. Imagine being beaten to a pulp by a parent, or raped, and hearing a sponsor tell to your inner child needs a spanking! I watched a TV program on BBC before where there were four men who'd been sexually abused as children. These men were all hard men and criminals and heavily tattooed. Yet when they spoke of their shocking childhood they seemed to regress into a childlike state: their heads down, twiddling the fingers, weeping like a child. It really moved me. Now an AA sponsor suggest beating that inner child that these men brought to the surface to heal.
The more I analyze AA now, the more it disgusts me. No wonder they say, Utilize, don't analyze! Because when you do analyze you find the truth, which to me is just plain sick!

"TURN DOWN THAT JOB"

I met a friend of mine recently who just left AA because of the nonsense he was being told. My friend is starting a new job soon. The money is great and he is very happy and looking forward to it. His former 'friends' of Alcoholics Anonymous told him to turn the job down, that he was not ready for it. Isn't that outrageous? It is small wonder that many members in this area are self-righteous bums who smoke like trains and waste their lives talking about how grateful they are at meetings!
The amount of unemployed members I've met is shocking. Now these are long time members who advice others to turn down jobs! Ireland has one of the lowest unemployed rates in the world and the lowest in the EU. There is a job for everyone. In fact there are so many jobs that we have to recruit from other countries (making a wonderful multi-cultural Ireland). It is understandable that some don't have the confidence or suffer from depression or low self-esteem, but the big shots who told my friend to turn a job down brag about how well they are!

SUCKERS

I have been to many, many meetings and consistantly I have heard members express their distaste for religion and professional mental health care. It seems odd that they should hate religion for two reasons. 1. They are a religion themselves and 2. Most rooms are given to them by the Catholic church and the Church of Ireland.
My mother tells me that Alcoholics Anonymous is often mentioned in Sunday Mass (so much for attraction, not promotion!). Yet members have the cheek to sit in Church rooms kindly donated, and bad mouth the very people who accept whatever is collected, anything from E1 to E10! What a nerve!
Bad mouthing counsellors too is very common. Yet counsellors regularly advice their clients to go to these meetings. I guess the Churches and Counsellors are suckers!

Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy or CBT

I read recently in the Orange Papers that Dr. Vaillant (The AA quack) of the Alcoholics Anonymous World Service stated that AA was similar to CBT. This is utter nonsense. I am no expert but I know when people feel bad about themselves, when people feel powerless it is not good therapy of any kind.
What I have seen in my nine years in the cult was certainly not CBT. People who are unhappy might say, "I feel happy. I am happy in AA". Now their body language contradicts this. They often look miserable. They often merely say what they think others want to hear. They deny their feelings of sorrow. This is called suppression, not CBT. And this is perhaps why there is so much anger at the meetings. There is often a boiling rage. AAs hate feeling, and rarely express any at meetings in my experience. I cannot believe that our 'good doctor' really believes that meetings are like CBT. Considering that he found the suicide rate among members was appalling, and that AA "was no better" than nothing at all".
It is best I think to recognise our feelings. Sometimes I feel sad but rather than suppress it, it is best to say, 'yes I'm sad, but it will pass. It IS passing. I am sad because.... I will rectify it. I will rise above it'. Isn't that better than saying, 'I am happy' while inside feel rotten?
So many times I have seen people deny their feelings at meetings. You can feel the pain, the atmosphere is full of sorrow. An AA room is like a grey room. Meetings are full of pain, sarcasm, condescension, denial, fake smiles, sniggering. It truly is an awful place. CBT indeed!

MY STEPS FOR ESCAPING ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

1 We admitted we were powerful, that we could manage our own lives

2 Took responsibility for ourselves

3 Made a decision to take our own will back and to think for ourselves

4 Made an inventory of our good and bad points

5 Reflected deeply on these points

6 Were ready to grow up

7 Got of our knees!

8 Thought about those we had harmed and those who harmed us, and how it has shaped our lives...

9 ... then moved on and forgot about it

10 Continued to grow and love ourselves

11 Understand that if God exists He gave us a brain and a will for a reason, and that the idea of turning our will over to him/her/it was illogical and irresponsible

12 Having deprogrammed our minds of superstitous nonsense we played our part in destroying Alcoholics Anonymous.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Write a blog of your experience.

Write to mental health experts. Most will perhaps ignore you but you must try. I have written to FOUR. ALL ignored me and refused to debate the issue. I will keep trying with others. Remember AA DOES NOT WORK. That is proven! Dr. Vaillant found, over an 8 year period that AA was no better down 5%, which is the rate of spontaneous remmision among alcoholics. He found the death rate among members "appalling". Vaillant is a leader in AA but had to come clean because his research was state funded. There has only been FOUR good tests on AA and they all show AA to be a failure. There are 100 tests that show AA works! Bullshit! These tests had NO CONTROL GROUP. They are a fraud and a lie! see the www.orange-papers.org

Write to politicians

Tell as many people as possible about your experience. I have, and I have convinced three people to leave the cult. These people were deeply unhappy. I am very unpopular among AA members in my local area but nuts to it. But be careful. Remember you're dealing with religious fanatics.

Whatever you do, play your part, however small it may seem. You may actually save a human being's life. The Anti-AA community is growing.

Bizarre Rant

Check out this rant from a Alcoholics Anonymous member http://orange-papers.org/orange-letters40.heml Scroll down to this letter from 'bermanisfat'. Note how he, or indeed any cult members letters, fails to provide any evidence that the Steps works. Another curious thing cult members often say, or words to the effect are, "Sure you'll write a big long reply back". This tells me they are actually aware that they will get an intelligent reply. This sick individual accuses Orange of having an angry red face when that is exactly how I imagined the author of the letter. This must surely be a classical case of projection (as defined in psychology). He also makes bizarre assumptions about Orange. He says he will write again as if it is a threat. Well he's already made a fool of himself. All he did was attack Orange. He even had to make up some kind of fantasy about Orange's life and they way he lives in order to attack him. This is truely the strangest letter (but there are others by cult members). Ladys and gentle men! I present for you today.... a 12 Step true believer!

UPDATE. I just checked the above link. It doesn't go to the letter. Use the link then go to 'home', scroll down to letters number 40, then scroll down until you get to a letter by 'bermanisfat' (Berman is probably angry as well as fat... maybe that's why he's angry!) Anyway that's the fruit cake.

SHARING

Sharing is a word used by Steppers, and especially Alcoholics Anonymous, to confess, or indeed brag about your sins to the group. Now I have nothing against group therapy. It can be good to get things off one's chest. The problem as I see it is that in AA there is no trained counsellors. This means we could well be doing damage by our 'sharing'. There is also the problem of blabber mouths.
The most repulsive 'sharing' is bragging. One man bragged about how he put a barman in hospital: "I slammed my fist on top of his head, and his jaw caved in". He clearly delighted in telling us this. He went on to give us all the horrible details. I felt quite sick, as did many others there.
If one is going to meetings every day, how much will they confess? I have always suspected that many members make up stories or at least exaggerate them.
I shared many times what a bastard I was in the early days. The reason being is that I was playing the steoreotypical alcoholic. The fact is I don't fit that stereotype. I had ONE physical fight in my adult life, and felt guilty for years over it, exaggerated it, blew it all out of proportion.
It seems now to me that I was brainwashed into believing that I was a bad and violent person. That is so far from the truth. I have always been a gentle person, even when drinking, except for one time.
Sharing is also about conforming, especially for the more vulnerable people. We all want to be liked and loved; we all want to fit it. There is nothing wrong with conforming. After all we must conform to rules in work and to the rule of law. It sucks sometimes but that's life. But why should we conform to the group in AA? How are we to overcome our problems if we just say what we think others want us to hear?
I have known people in the cult to 'share' outright lies.
When one shares in AA there is no discussion or feed back. Often (almost always in my 9 years) the chairperson will talk again after somebody has shared, but rather strangly, he or she will simply resume their egotisical monologue, with not a word on the person who just 'shared'. This tells me that the chairperson was not even listen. He or she was merely waiting for you to finish, to resume their monologue.

INAPPROPRIATE LAUGHING.
"I stole some money, just a small amount, from my boss" I shared; everyone laughed. I said, "It's not funny" and they laughed even louder.
Afterwards a woman shared, "I learned to laugh in AA". That was clearly a kick at me. Trust me, I can laugh. I can laugh a lot. But I know when not to laugh. And perhaps I just don't share the same sence of humour as this particular group. There is something disturbing about a bunch of people laughing their heads off over nothing.
Incidently I returned the money, telling my then boss I had borrowed it. In retrospect borrow is exactly what I had done. (Hey, well... I needed some sins to fit in with the group!)

just thoughts

"I am very nervous here. This is my first chair. My sponsor's told me it's my big ego that makes me nervous in a room full of people, (everybody nods agreement) I'm sorry I can't do this. It's just me being selfish" -
That's what a young man said opening up a meeting. His sponsor told him something, therefore it is true. Actually he was probably nervous because he'd never spoken to a room full of people. Perhaps he feared he would not impress. Perhaps he feared ridicule, confessing his sins. It may have had someting to do with his ego but it certainly wasn't because it was big. And it absolutely had nothing to do with selfishness! And the bottom line is he did not want to do it!
New members are made to feel guilty for not doing chairs. The true -believers (Always middle aged, arrogant men, always White) say things like "who are you to say no?" "You forget where you came from". They have no empathy or understanding.
These days I have no time for these bastards. Sure there are plenty of good members, good people, that I talk to, but the leaders, the true believers, I walk right by without a word. Where are there qualifications? Well they have none. Yet they feel fit to tell a newcomer not to take there medication; they feel it's right to push a member to do things he or she doesn't want to do. Their ignorance and stupidity is quite shocking and chills me to the bone.
Often people are told to ring their sponsor every day. How degrading is that? This is perhaps a way that members lose their identities. All of their decisions are often made by the sponsor. So their needs are never met. 'Don't make major decisions for a least two years' is a common bit of advice. (Actually they call it a suggestion, AAs love semantics!). What muck! No. I think I'll make my own decisions thank you very much!
I am so, so glad to get away from the AA cult. Really I thought I would be going to meetings for the rest of my life. Now I know I will NEVER go to an AA cult meeting again. Woo hoo! happy days!

For a comprehensive analysis of the cult visit Agent Orange at www.orange-papers.org

INSANITY

"My sponsor told me that when I keep doing the same thing and keep getting the same negative results, it is a form of insanity. I listened carely. I left Alcoholics Anonymous."
- Anon

DEATH

I was brainwashed in AA, there is no doubt in my mind about now. For years I struggled in the cult but never quite got 100% taken in. However to a large extent I was taken in by the lies. I'm not hard on myself, after all I was in a very bad way back then.
They say in AA that nothing happens by mistake, that God is in control. I guess by that logic one can only come to the conclusion that God is evil. What else can one call a power that allows people to be tortured to death, war, famine. And so AA does nothing to contribute to society, since they believe God is doing His will all of the time. The true believers sit around self righteously proclaiming that God has chosen them. They make me sick. This whole 'Recovery' business makes me sick. They hurt and kill.
One young man who kept coming into the meetings but couldn't get sober killed himself, after walking out of I meeting I had chaired. The message he was getting was that AA was the only way... or death. Well he chose death; we killed him by our ignorance. He could have been saved had he seen a professional counsellor or a doctor. He could have been prescribed medication to help him cope. Nobody suggested professional help, just "go to meetings" "read the Big Book" "get a sponser".
I think the saddest case was of Bobby (not real name). Bobby had been going to meetings for years. He was always in pain. He needed real medical help but was told he didn't need meds. He threw himself in the harbour. He left behind a wife and two young children.
Few care when a member dies. You would be shocked to see how cold they are, how indifferent they are.
AA must be exposed and destroyed.

WE DON'T NEED A GOD IN AA... REALLY?

The Big Book has got to be the most disgusting piece of religious literature ever written. The lack of respect for humans and human nature is mind boggling. It blows my mind as to how a mental health professional can actually take it seriously. Check this out in chapter 4 'we agnostics':

"To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face."
In other words Join our cult or die. Bill Wilson is telling us that if we don't join his twisted religion we will die, doomed, death.

and this:

"...something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted."
That is so arrogant and patronizing. Actually Bill I don't feel disconcerted since leaving your cult! So I only think I'm an atheist? But really I am superior like you?

and this:

"Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed us utterly."
Our human resources are all we have! Perhaps His Holiness wants them marshalled by the Cult! Remember Bill did say we could turn our will and our lives over to a Group Of Drunks (G.O.D.)

and this p 53

"...Either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is , or He isn't. What was our choice to be?" (Wow!! such logic!)
This is crazy!!!! A few pages ago I didn't have to believe in God! Now Bill Wilson gives us a choice.... Ok Bill, He isn't... so what do I do now?
"Without knowing it, had we not been brought to where we stood by a certain kind of faith?"
Yes we had, faith in our fellow humans, and many of us were betrayed and dead.
He tells us then that we had been faithful to a "God of Reason". Really Bill tries so hard to drill God into our heads, doesn't he? Nope wrong Bill. Why do you keep mentioning God? Isn't this the chapter to the agnostics?
"We found, too, that we had been worshippers." Worshippers? See how Bill keeps using words associated with religion? So what if we were worshippers! What the fuck is he talking about here? We had been worshippers, so what the hell let's worship Bill's God!
"Imagine life without faith" Bill says, trying to excite us. Perhaps he'll whip us into an insane religious frenzy!!
" He [God] was as much a fact as we were." Now God is a fact! Bill must have been out of his fucking mind altogether. One page we don't need a god, the next He's a fact! He is so arrogant and deluded here that he believes at this point of his stupid argument we will all come to believe in his idea of god. This has got to be the weakest argument ever for the existence of God.

WHAT ARE THE STEPS ABOUT?

What are the steps about? Alcohol? No or.. yes? Drug addiction.. eh yes.. i mean no? OK Lets broaden it: Addiction Oh YES.. wait that doesn't make sense. What about if I am diabetic? Yes! Wait that doesn't makes sense either because diabetes we don't force on ourselves, alcohol we do. But hang on now, what about rape? It's for that too. So what are the steps about? Addiction? Medical disorders? Violent crime victims? They are about indoctrination into a crazy pessimistic, death obsessed cult! ( check out www.orange-papers.com the twelve biggest lies )
How can a treatment for alcoholism be applicable also to a rape victim? How does that make sense? There are over 100 (Orange twelve biggest lies) Stepper meetings and it is impossible to find a common factor.... Wait I found one CULT INDOCTRINATION!

A HAVEN FOR BULLIES AND COWARDS

When I talk of cowards and bullies (bullies are of course cowards) in AA I mean of course the true believers: Those fruit cakes who believe everything that Bill Wilson said.
I have been to a lot of meetings and seen a lot of spineless bullies. They hate mature discussions and use the meetings to slyly attack other members, knowing full well that arguments are not tolerated. I remember talking to a so-called atheist about the program. I asked how it was that she could do the program and still be an atheist, since a god was required. As the discussion went on she became embarrassed. So I left it at that, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. When the meeting started she was chosen to be chairperson. Confidently she opened the meeting and said, "some people look too deep into the program. Well I do it my way!" And she glared at me. She suddenly found courage in the safety of the meeting.
The bullies like to put the so-called weaker members down by talking out of the side of their necks. They detest logic; they detest questions. If one tries to debate with them, they say something like, "well I wish you well". Beneath such a statement there is rage.
And if you point out a flaw in the program you are "looking too deep into it". We should just believe. What a load of utter bull shit!
Bullies will often say 'I' when they mean you! One guy was sharing that he was giving up smoking. I shared next and when I'd finished the chair person said to me, "I gave up smoking but it has nothing to do with the program". I never even mentioned smoking, so I said, "shoudn't you be addressing that other guy". Well he didn't; he just ignored me and went on to the next person. What a coward.
I was severly bullied in my early days. In my last days the bullies avoided me like the plague! I no longer feared them. They feared me. I could see it in their closed body language, their reluctance to share and often they would get up and leave. Not such tough guys now are they?

MOVEMENT

"Twelve step bowel movement"
Description of the 12 steps by one of its victims in a letter to Orange, 2004. Oh God it so good to fall around laughing! Nice One!

SLOGANS

When you walk into an AA meeting, or any 12 step meeting, you will usually see a lot of simple, stupid slogans around the room. These are designed to stop your thoughts. They are designed to stop criticism of the program. Criticism is forbidden. Let's have a look at some of the slogans I have seen at meetings:

Utilize, don't analyze
So you're not to analyze the program. Normal humans test things out. We do it all the time in our relationships, in learning, in creating. We test and analyze, and if something doesn't work we modify and change, sometimes ourselves, sometimes, where possible our environment. It is the mature behaviour of an adult. Even a child does it! It is called growth. Of course if you analyze AA you will probably run like hell!

Let go, let God
Let go what? Your thoughts? Let God what? Take over your life so that you don't have to be responsible?

Stop your stinking thinking
Stop thinking, you stupid idiot!

This too shall pass
Again what? What will pass?

Live and let live
This is often used in the context of allowing another person to treat you like shit. You're suppose to put up with it. If someone hurts you its YOUR problem. Even in ACoA they say it's your problem if your parents knocked the crap out of you when you were an innocent little child.
I remember when my sponser hurt me. I shared the story at a meeting. At the end of the meeting a man came over to me and stood so close I could smell his stinking breath. He said rapidly, "You're the problem! You're the problem! You've got to believe that! You're the problem!" What an insensitive, cold and foolish man.

One day at a time
This may seem ok. But what they mean in AA is to live your life one day at a time. Make no plans for your future.

These sogans just keep you stupid and quiet. It is as if you cannot think for yourself. I find them patronizing in the extreme. No thanks! I think I'll use my mind for thinking and working out my problems. That's what it's for.

PERSONALITY CHANGES

AA claims to be a quit drinking program. The fact is they demand a complete personality change in their members. I remember seeing a friend of mine coming to the meetings. This guy was a staunch athiest. One month in the fellowship he was talking about Jesus, and how He changed his life, his whole personality. It was really bizarre. As far as I'm aware Jesus didn't want us to change our whole personality. And I'm sure He didn't want us to sit around judging everybody; He didn't want us to waste our days and not contribute for the good of society. AA is a closed, egotistical and selfish system. Many members even proudly say, "It's a selfish program." Touche!
The cult must first break you down to build you into a good cult drone. In a story in the BB, (p420, 3rd ed) a cult member tells us, "I have had to be torn down and then put back together differently."
Trust me your personality is not completely changed. But what does happen is that your mind stops thinking. You go in a strange surreal state. Sometimes, every now and then, you use logic and express it at meetings. But it's quickly beating back by the bullies. What eventual happened to me was that I became unafraid of threats of AA or death and left. Now my thinking is clear and healthy, happy and sad, not maniacal and depressed.

My take on BB p60, 3rd ed.

Many of us exclaimed, "what a load of crap! Are you outa your fucking mind!?" Do not panick. No one among us has a brain to think with. We are not normal. The point is that we were willing to forget about logic and common sense. The practices we have ordered will make you feel good (duuuuh). We claim not to be a religion but we are.
Our negative, stereotypical view of the alcoholic, our chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after is all the proof we need, Ok? We represent all truth . So don't give us any science.
You are useless
You can't do anything
God can (We are not religion, we are not a religion) save you (not a religion).
Being brainwash drones, we were at step 3, which is that we became lazy bums who found even thinking too tiring, and sat around waiting for God to do everything for us.

I WALKED AWAY

The greatest day of my life was the day I walked away from the AA cult. I had just finished several years in counselling (a real trained counsellor). I realised as I shared at my last meeting that I was deluded in my belief that AA saved my life. I shared, "AA has helped me 99%, but I must give 1% to my counsellor". It hit then. Reality hit me like a brick. All I was saying was what they wanted to hear. The fact is my counsellor helped me recover from my low self- esteem and self image. And there I was giving this crazy cult the credit. Also the credit for my sobriety goes to ME 100%. PERIOD.
AA has not helped me at all, not one bit. The fact that I remained sober in AA is a miracle.
I went home that day and turned on the computer. Oddly after nearly nine years in the cult I looked up Alcoholics Anonymous on answers.com I read the usual crap. At the end of the article was a link to www.orange-papers.org normally I wouldn't entertain any criticism of AA, but today was different. I opened up my mind. After a couple of hours reading I sat in my room thinking, 'wow, I KNEW it!' I knew deep down that something was wrong in AA. It didn't fit right. Surely if AA was good I would have fitted in by now. I would of course have fitted in by now if AA was good. But it isn't good. I always felt awkward in the cult. Yet recently I started more studying and fitted in immediately. There is little wrong with my mind; there is nothing at all wrong with my social skills; there is nothing wrong with my ability to make friends, to find a mate. I looked at this cult as a reflection of society, and thus imagined myself as being fucked up. I couldn't see that it was the cult that was fucked up, not me!

WELCOME

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog. The is a continuation of mairtin.livejournal.com Please go there for previous posts.
My purpose here to expose Alcoholism Anonymous for what it is, a cult that kills people through brainwashing, death suggestions, and the teachings that alcoholics are not responsible for their actions. Unfortunately I will not be allowing comments because of hate mail by cult members. I will not allow myself to be viciously attacked by those comments.
I will also be supporting Agent Orange www.orange-papers.org in his tireless efforts to get the truth out and will cite his writings many times. Thank you!